Aufbruch
by mcgonnagle
Summary: Aufbruch (noun,m.)-1.departure 2.start of a change 3.crack Basically that scene in Episode two of Brotherhood, when Ed leaves to take the state alchemist exam, Al and Winry stand on a hill and talk, with more context


_Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Obviously_

 _Reviews are appreciated: )_

Aufbruch _(noun,m.)_

 _1.Departure_

 _2.Start of a change_

 _3.Crack_

The tall grass tickled her bare legs as they walked up the hill.

„You think he made it on time?" asked the armour that held her best friend.

The meadow was dampening his usual noisy movements. Although the conjuncture between the shoulder and arm plates on the left side could stand to be oiled again, she thought distractedly as she turned to give Al a half-smile. „He'd better", she said, taking the last strides up to the top of the hill and running a hand through her sweaty bangs.

„But if he did miss the train it's entirely his fault. Procrastinating packing until the last minute, falling asleep again after breakfast when we all told him to go upstairs prepare, and then coming back for that hideous coat...he'll have to run".

The coat had been discovered at the market last week, and since then Ed had insisted it was „the most badass piece of clothing anyone ever invented". Fit for a „real state alchemist".

Al and her had both laughed at him, since the only state alchemist anyone of them had ever met, Colonel Mustang, had just worn the standard military uniform, and Ed's sense of style had always been..questionable.

It hadn't been that obvious before (aside from a few gargoyled snowmen and the like), but ever since he'd seriously begun studying for the state alchemist exam (which in his mind, basically equalled already having passed it), he'd also taken to transmute his clothes, leading to his new favourite outfit, which consisted of a high-collared black and white jacket, unnaturally shiny black leather pants, red-soled elevator boots and the coat.

Which was why they could now see a tiny red figure sprinting down the road to the train station.

„It really is quite ugly, isn't it?" said Al's echoey voice beside her. „And much too warm too. You said this was the worst heatwave of the last ten years, right?"

„Yes. It should never be this hot and humid in September! It's okay now though with the wind".

„Right" said Al, and she tried not to hear the melancholy in his voice.

„I feel sorry for all the other passengers now, imagine having to sit next to Ed after he ran all this way in a winter coat" she tried, and slapped Al's arm for good measure.

She'd discovered early on that elbowing an armour in the ribs was a) impossible and b) just rather painful for yourself.

„Haha yeah. And here he was the one complaining the most about sweating to death even without the coat."

„He probably won't even take it off in the train out of stupid pride" Winry added with a smirk. Then she scowled. „Just to prove a point to, I don't even know who? To us? It's so stupid, I've told him a hundred times that it's a risk for infection getting sweat between his support plates and his skin, especially with the arm, cause there's the clavicle bolt right next to it and he still.." _leaves_ was the word on the tip of her tongue, which didn't make any sense, and it wasn't what she'd wanted to say, but she couldn't remember what had been, so she just shut up and pressed her lips into a thin line.

In silence,they both watched the tiny red figure run into Resembool's train station, and thirty seconds later the train whistle blew and they could see the steam rushing from the engine; two moments later the train had gone around a curve and all that was left was the trail of smoke drifting upwards between the green hills like worried sheep.

 _‚So he's really gone_ ' she wanted to say, but she bit her lip instead.

What was the point? It was so blaringly obvious he was gone, not here, not standing next to them loudly proclaiming that he could have easily passed the state alchemist exam at seven, and that _„screw Mustang, Al should come with and take the exam too"._

Winry didn't know the whole extent of the communication that had occurred between Ed and the military after the visit of Colonel Mustang and Miss Riza, due to being up to her ears in automail and also possibly a good deal of denial, but that one point of discussion had been impossible to miss.

Approximately five months after the initial meeting Mustang had called, to ask how fast the automail surgeries were coming along, and to give Edward a layout of what was expected in the state alchemist exam.

Apparently there was a written part, a psychological evaluation and a practical demonstration. Winry had heard the most about the written part, because Ed wouldn't shut up about how easy it was gonna be,that he and Al would only have to touch up on the basics and study some of the more physics based alchemy due to all the research they did in biology and chemistry in the last years (she didn't ask more).

So both of the boys had gone to work, and it had been good for Ed to have a distraction from painful reinnervation, and for Al from well..everything actually.

She couldn't imagine what it must be like, not sleeping, not eating, not feeling anything. Because of course he still had _feelings_ , he was still little Al who jumped up first anytime someone asked for help, who brought home any stray kitten that looked a little too scrawny- at one point, when they were still living at their house, Al had ended up with ten adopted cats, all of them which he'd put in the boys' shared bedroom. It didn't really matter, or at least that was Al's line of argumentation, because they mostly just fell asleep in the study anyway.

Aunt Trisha had had a very strict No-pets-in-the-house policy though (Winry suspected that once upon a time Den had been at least half the reason Ed and Al came over so often); but since his mother's death, Ed sometimes seemed to think he had to take over the role of the parent.

The fight had lasted days (and had, of course, resulted in a few bruises), but in the end, Ed could never say no to Al.

And so they had lived more or less happily with their ten cats, until Granny Pinako discovered that they had forgotten to teach the kittens what the litter box was for, and made them clean up everything while she watched and smoked her pipe (Ed had of course grumbled all the while that it _wasn't his idea to put pets in the house)._

Still, people not being able to say no to Al had been kind of a constant in her life, and so Colonel Mustang's strict no had come as a bit of a shock to everyone.

It had all begun two months ago, when Mustang had sent them Mr. Havoc, to coach Ed and Al for the psychological evaluation.

Granny had liked Mr. Havoc despite being military, for keeping her company while smoking, and also, Winry suspected, because he had brought a very generous supply of alcoholic beverages for his three day stay.

Anyway, at some point it had come up that before the practical demonstration, a physical exam would be included („probably to protect the military from expensive medical care" Granny had scoffed).

Of course, a physical exam would require an actual physical body, so Al was practically out.

Granny had sent Havoc away to the town fair, with the promise of beautiful country girls and the opportunity to make fun of self-proclaimed master marksmen, and then the brothers had called Mustang.

The call had lasted over an hour, and in the end Al had excused himself to go for a walk, and Ed had stayed in the house, kicking at the walls with his flesh foot (she refused to call it the „good foot"), fuming and cursing that „smug bastard".

Essentially the same had happened again two weeks ago, when they'd found out that the military only provided lodging for exam candidates, and as Al had had to withdraw his application „to prevent any investigation into their _situation_ ",that meant Ed would be going to Central City on his own.

It wasn't ideal, but finding an affordable hotel room on this short notice was pretty much impossible, and besides Granny needed to stay here for her patients.

The wind was blowing all her hair into her face and she turned to stand next to Al for some cover. The armour was making howling noises, like blowing over a bottle. The hollow sounds made her shiver in spite of the heat, because they made it seem like she was just standing there alone talking to a random creepy old armour, with no Al inside. From this angle she couldn't even see the eyeslits in the helmet, where the strange glowing lights were now the only visual proof of Al's presence in this world.

Suddenly not able to stand it anymore, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind, „Are you angry you're here with us?" „No, of course I'm not angry!", Al reassured her quickly, and she could almost see the polite smile he always gave anyone asking how they were doing, two orphan boys living alone, when Ed would just scowl and tell them to mind their own business. „ _We're doing fine, Sir. Our father has just left on some business, but he'll be back soon and our neighbors are looking out for us, so please don't worry."_

How could she do the looking out if they never told her anything?

She put a hand on his back- the shoulder was too high for her to reach-and asked quietly „Really? I know you really wanted to take the exam too, you just didn't show it cause Ed was already throwing a fit-" „I'm just- angry at this body, you know? And it's just one more thing that I can't do because I'm-stuck here". He whispered the last two words and turned to look at his hands, clenching and unclenching them.

„But I can't really say that, can I, because Ed gave his arm so that my soul could come back, and he went through all this painful surgery to help me get my body back, and now I can't even go with him, and I bet you he's going to do something really stupid like challenge the Führer to a fistfight or something-"

His voice turned even quieter. „He _always_ does that. Gets some crazy idea stuck in his head, and won't listen to anyone tell him no." He was shaking his fists helplessly, and the squeaking noise made her wince, like nails on a chalkboard.

„But I'm always there, too. Like Sensei said, we've gotta watch each others' backs and protect-"

The hands fell to his sides with a clank.

„Except I didn't. I wanted mom back just as badly, and I didn't say a word, you see? I- Maybe I thought of the taboo once in the beginning, but then it didn't matter and- I calculated everything, you know? ‚You always pay attention to all the details, so you make sure we get everything right' he told me, so I looked over all the equations, and figured out exactly how much to use, and I remeasured all the ingredients at least twice and then I told him everything was _perfect_ -"

He turned to look at her, and the red lights in his eyes were impossibly bright.

The words _It wasn't your fault_ were on her tongue, but putting all the blame on Ed felt wrong too.

„I'm sorry", she said instead and picked at the weeds around her, dissecting the leaves into thin strips that she let fall to the ground.

What could she say?

It felt like needles pricking at her skin from all sides, the need to get up and _fix it_ , but as Granny had said, when Ed had told them about his biggest fear during the fever that had followed the second surgery, this was something they needed to figure out between themselves.

She looked up. „You're gonna find a way though, right? With the state alchemist license, you can get access to all kinds of research materials,and then you'll get your bodies back. That's what he said, right?"

„Yes. We'll be able to use all the restricted libraries, with the research of other state alchemists; and on our missions we'll probably travel around the country and meet all kinds of people. So then we can find a Philosopher's stone, or find out how to make one. And when we get one, we'll make everything go back to how it was."

The phrase was jarring in a way she couldn't quite describe, because a part of her so desperately wanted to believe that they could fix everything and take back some sort of their lost childhood, while another part, that sounded suspiciously like Granny, told her that even if they did get their bodies back, some things had changed beyond repair.

Then the rest of what Al had been saying registered and she couldn't hold back the question „When Ed's a state alchemist,you'll leave our village, won't you?".

Al just lowered his head, but she didn't really need an answer. She'd deluded herself the past months into thinking that they could do research from here, with just the occasional trip to some library, because the military wouldn't actually call on a twelve-year-old, right?

„Oh", was all she could manage, and it was a detached kind of sadness, because it had been clear all along how this would end, hadn't it?

 _Leaves, leaves, leaves_ chanted a voice in her head, her parents, Ed and soon enough Al. They'd all promised to come back.

She twisted her hands into the fabric of her dress, partly to hold onto something solid, partly to keep it from flying up and exposing her underwear to the entire countryside.

She allowed herself a last look to where the train had vanished behind the hills that they all knew like the back of their hand, where they'd played hide and seek and tried to ride on the sheep (but that was before), then she glanced up and told Al „We should better head back." She was quite proud of how level her voice was.

„If you're going to travel the entire country, you're gonna need a few things, don't you think?"


End file.
